My Saving Grace
by Lady Serai
Summary: Pale, blue eyes and warmth was all Sasha remembered as she lost consciousness as something strong and warm wrapped around her broken body, carrying her out of hell. Her angel. Her saving grace. Rating M. Image: Pinterest
1. Chapter 1

**My Saving Grace**

 **Rating:** M

 **Warning:** there is a rape scene. If you don't want to read it, you should probably skip over it. I starred the beginning of the M rated scene and the ending of the M rated scene.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own SnK

 **Edited:** October 4, 2018

* * *

 **Chapter One**

It was late in the evening as Sasha Braus, new Survey Corps member, found herself delivering a message to one of the MP commanding officers named Michael Garforth. The message was entrusted to her by Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps and she was determined to not fail. Many people presume that she wasn't smart and she hated those accusations because it wasn't the case. Her personality as a laid back, easy going person made it difficult to prove them wrong. However, she was determined to deliver a simple document successfully. As she approached the MP headquarters, she couldn't help but wonder at the large building.

She met an MP outside of the headquarters and held up the document for the guard to see. "I'm Sasha Braus of the Survey Corps! I was asked by Commander Erwin Smith to deliver this document to Section Commander Michael Garforth!"

The guard waved her in and gave her directions to the Section Commander's office. Sasha walked down the elaborate hallways. They must have a lot of money to waste if they are spending money to make such elaborate halls. She asked an MP as she was walking by for directions. Sasha felt relieved when the MP decided to guide her to the office herself.

Sasha was showed into the room and was met with piercing dark eyes belonging to a tall man sitting at a desk. Sitting in chairs around the officer's desk were several other men. She marched her way further into the room and saluted. "Sasha Braus of the Survey Corps. I am here to deliver a document from Survey Corps Commander Erwin Smith to Section Commander Garforth!"

"At ease, soldier," the dark-eyed man said with a slight smile. "I'm Section Commander Michael Garforth. Now, let me see that document."

Startled by his kindness, Sasha obediently walked over to his desk to hand him the message. She fidgeted a little under the gaze of four other men sitting around her as she waited for Garforth to finish reading the document.

"Well, now, then. Thank you for delivering this message."

Sasha saluted. "Your welcome sir."

"You must be quite the busy soldier," the commanding officer said warmly to her.

Sasha shrugged. "Training and expeditions do make a soldier quite busy sir."

"You must be tired and hungry. Would you like to take a short break before heading back to the Survey Corps headquarters?"

"Oh, I could not," Sasha said shaking her head.

"You must be hungry and slightly thirsty. I have some leftovers that one of the section commanders gave me to try, but I just ate an hour ago. Take a break before you go back to the Survey Corps," Garforth said smiling.

"Ah," said Sasha embarrassed at the compliment. She was going to refuse, but she didn't want to appear to be rude. "I guess a tiny break wouldn't hurt," Sasha conceded as she took a seat one of the officers offered her.

"I think it is remarkable that a woman is part of the Survey Corps."

Sasha flushed and looked down at her hands. "I joined because I wanted to protect my village."

"That is very courageous of you to risk your life for your village."

Sasha shrugged. Garforth gestured towards one of the men. "Get the food for the soldier here and prepare the table so she could eat."

"Yes sir."

Garforth turned his warm gaze towards Sasha. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"Uh, tea? Please."

Garforth smiled. "We have tea. James, get the tea that I serve to my guests if you will."

"Yes, sir."

Sasha waited quietly as the officers spoke among themselves and Garforth continued to flip through documents. The door opened and Sasha turned to see James with a cup of tea in his hand. She thanked him as she took the cup and sipped from it.

Sasha couldn't help but feel small in comparison to everyone in the room. She continued to sip from the cup. She couldn't help but think the tea had such a nice taste to it. Cinnamon and something else she couldn't place her finger on. She felt a warmth spreading throughout her whole entire body. It was almost unreal at how warm her body felt. She lightly placed her hand on her forehead not aware the officers were watching her with interest and Garforth's slight smile.

"Would you like to eat?" Garforth asked her gently.

Sasha turned her hazel eyes on the commanding officer. "W-what?" she mumbled.

"We got food," Garforth clarified.

"Food. Yes, food sounds good," Sasha mumbled standing up and almost falling before she stabilized herself. She felt a hand holding onto her arm.

"Allow me to escort you to the table," Garforth said smiling as he practically half-carried, half-dragged the girl out of the room towards the table. Sasha kept her eyes on her feet, concentrating to put one foot in front of the other. She looked up and stopped dead in her tracks. She stared at the bared table that had rope all over the table. She slowly turned to look at Garforth who had moved behind her. Before she could say a word, his men grabbed her and lifted her off the ground. Sasha began to thrash.

******M rated scene******

"What the hell are you doing?!" the auburn-haired girl snapped struggling to free her limbs but for some reason her limbs weren't responding. Horrified, she stared at Garforth. "What the _hell_ did you do to me?"

Garforth ignored her. "Tie her down boys."

"You sick bastard," Sasha snarled as she struggled against the men who wrestled her onto the table. As three men held down, another two men tied her to the table with the ropes. Sasha struggled but she was starting to get too tired to fight back.

Garforth moved to her head and stroked her cheek. Sasha snapped her teeth at him and Garforth yanked his hand back. Sasha was satisfied to see a bite mark on his hand. However, her satisfaction was short lived as a large hand collided with her cheek snapping her head to the side.

"Gag her. The bitch just bit me," Garforth barked.

"You are a horrible person!" Sasha spat.

Garforth shrugged. "You are easy, my dear. I have needs to be fulfilled."

Tears trickled down her face as another man wrestled the gag into her mouth. Sasha stared in horror as Garforth waved a hand at James who gleefully ripped her shirt off of her body while another officer, who had prepared the table, used a knife to cut through her pants. Sasha closed her eyes as she was bared to the horrid man who was leering at her.

Sasha's eyes widened when she heard buckles snapping and the rustle of pants being dropped to the floor. "My, my, men. Look at how toned this woman's body is. I must say Survey Corps women have quite gorgeous bodies. Now, leave us!" Sasha watched as the commander's officers left her tied to the table with a man who had no qualms taking her virginity.

Garforth moved to stand in between her parted legs. She desperately tried to move her legs closed but huge hands gripped her thighs in a fierce grip that caused her to wince in pain.

"Please," she whimpered. "I'm begging you to stop. Do not do this. Please just let me go back to my headquarters."

She felt a tiny bit of hope when she saw him pause. _Is he…?_

Her eyes widened in shock as he jerked his hips and impaled himself in her causing her to jerk and scream in pain.

"Stop!" she screamed as he roughly thrusted into her. "You are hurting me!'

He leaned over her writhing body and pulled her left breast into his mouth. "That's a shame," he said as he released her left breast with a pop. "I like it rough especially with virgins."

Sasha struggled against his grip but she was already spent. She just laid there wincing and gasping as Garforth violated her. The horrid man began to thrust faster and harder with no restraint until he finally shuddered as his seed poured into her body. Sasha just laid there as he pulled himself out of her and fixed himself.

Sasha closed her eyes, exhausted. It felt as if she had been ripped to pieces. When she was finally left alone by herself, Sasha allowed herself to cry.

 _Please…someone…save me._

*****M rated scene ends*****

Levi was sitting working on his paperwork when he heard someone knocking on his door.

"Come in," he said shortly, eyes never leaving the document he had been reading.

"Um, sir," he heard Eren Jaeger.

Levi looked up. "What is it?"

"Um, sir, uh—"

"Spit it out, brat."

"I'm worried about someone!" he practically yelped.

Levi raised an eyebrow.

"It's Sasha Braus. Commander Erwin sent Sasha to deliver a document to MP headquarters and she hasn't returned yet. It's been over an hour, sir. I was wondering if you could—"

"Get her?"

Eren shifted. "Yes, sir."

Levi grunted and pushed himself from his desk. "I hate searching for brats. I will let Commander Erwin know about your request and let him deal with it. Knowing you, you will continue to beg me until I get pissed and decide to look for another shitty brat for you. Don't give me that look, Jaeger. It's written all over your pathetic face. Go back to the mess hall before I decide my boot looks better on your face than on the floor."

"Yes sir," Eren Jaeger said, saluting. The brat practically sprinted out of his office. Levi walked briskly to Commander Erwin's office.

 _Good time to bother Eyebrows._

Levi didn't bother knocking on the door to his superior's office. Erwin sharply looked up and opened his mouth and was about to reprimand Levi but stopped when he saw the expression on Levi's face.

Although, to most people, they wouldn't be able to tell that Levi was worried unless they knew him as well as Erwin did.

"What's wrong?" Erwin asked.

"Sasha Braus."

Recognition flashed in Erwin's blue eyes. "I sent Ms. Braus to the MP headquarters to deliver a document to Section Commander Michael Garforth."

"According to the brat, it has been over an hour, oh now, it's over two hours ago."

Concern showed slightly in Erwin's eyes. "Hmm, maybe I should send Hange out to fetch the girl."

But something in Erwin's statement bothered Levi more than anything else. He slammed his hands on Erwin's desk. "Did you say Garforth?"

"Yes, why?"

"Do you know about his reputation?"

"As a capable commander? Yes."

"No, Erwin, you respectable idiot. I'm talking about his slutish behavior. And he doesn't get the women, he takes them." Levi paused to see the horror in Erwin's eyes.

"Levi! Take your squad and get her!" Erwin snapped alarmed. "I'm going to inform Eren and his teammates that you are going to get her."

Levi was out of the room before Erwin finished. Levi was more than alarmed. And more than just angry.

 _Garforth. You better pray to whatever god you believe in that I don't see your ugly face._

Levi gritted his teeth, enraged.

* * *

 **End Note:** This was one of the hardest things I have ever to write about. This never happened to me, but it happened to my sister (it still bothers me). This story will be discussing rape victims and what people should do for a rape victim.

For anyone who found this offensive, I did put warnings letting you guys know what you're in for. But, if you didn't expect that, I apologize. I want to make it clear that this is for educational and for venting (personal) purposes.

Please don't forget to leave a review and favorite/follow _My Saving Grace._

Please don't forget to support my stories and me.

Have a good day and God bless.

~Lady Serai


	2. Chapter 2

**My Saving Grace**

 **Special Thanks:** xXpurpleskiesXx and Oosnow-pixieOo for your kind and thoughtful reviews. I really appreciate it.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Levi and his squad stormed towards the headquarters. _Two fucking hours since Erwin sent the Braus girl over to the MP. I wish I can hope that nothing bad happened to Braus, but I will expect the worse. I will have to._

Levi began barking orders to his squad. "Be prepared for anything! If an MP tries to stop us from storming Garforth's office you make sure the bastard doesn't get up again."

"Yes sir."

Levi practically ran through the hallways, shoving aside anyone stupid enough to stop the Captain of the Survey Corps from arriving at his destination. Levi scowled as he flipped an MP over his shoulder.

 _Tch, you are in my way, idiot_ , he thought, looking quickly over his shoulder to see the MP lying in a heap on the ground. Levi had no intention in talking to any of the MPs for it would only slow him down. His goal was to find Sasha Braus and if that meant flipping foolish MP personnel over his shoulder and beating Garforth's ugly face in while at it, he was going to do it. Deep down, Levi secretly wished Garforth was there in his office, so he could have a reason to beat the man's ugly face in. However, his goal was to find Sasha Braus. Luckily, Levi knew where Garforth's office was because he had less than pleasant conversations with the bastard.

Levi slammed the door open to Garforth's office. To his disgust and immense displeasure, the bastard wasn't even in his office. The only person in the room, was a quivering mess of a MP, who had jumped to his feet in surprise at seeing the Captain standing in the doorway.

"C-captain!" he stammered.

"There is a girl from the Survey Corps who was sent here to deliver a message a few hours ago. Do you have any idea where she is?"

Levi knew the man knew as he could see drops of perspiration on his upper lip. Levi narrowed his eyes as he took a threatening step towards the man. The man jumped and lifted a trembling finger towards another door. "She was kept in there, sir!"

Levi briskly made his way to the door, while issuing commands to his squad. "Eld, Gunther, and Oluo! Stay out here and keep an eye out for MP shit! Petra, you come with me."

Not bothering to look back to see if his subordinates were obeying him, Levi walked through the door. "Braus? Are you in here?"

His uncanny hearing picked up on a muffled response and he rushed towards where he heard the girl. He had expected a bit of lack of decency, but what he saw made him feel sick to his stomach. The lack of respect disgusted him. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists to control his quickly rising anger. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the horrified look on Petra's face as she took in the scene.

He knew Petra had expected a drunk soldier. She didn't know any better. Levi did. After all, he lived an unpleasant life in the underground city.

Sasha Braus was lying naked on a table, her arms tied over her head and a gag in her mouth. Her legs were parted and tied down to the table. The girl was shaking so hard, he could see her limbs quivering. He looked around for her clothes and saw that her clothes were missing.

 _Fucking bastard. He raped her and took her clothes with him when he left._ Levi was horrified as he pulled off his jacket and placed it over the girl's upper body to temporarily provide the girl with a shred of dignity that he knew had been torn away from her. Petra ran over to the other side of the girl and began to work on pulling the rope off of her. As Levi pulled the gag out of her mouth, Sasha shuddered and opened her eyes. "Captain Levi?" she croaked.

Levi leaned over slightly so she could see him. "It's me."

He saw a flash of recognition came into her eyes. He watched as the auburn-haired girl's body relaxed. "You came," she whispered weakly. She lifted up a hand.

Levi gently took her hand in his and squeezed her hand. "Go to sleep."

"Thank you," she whispered close to crying. "Please, get me out of here."

"I will get you out of here," Levi said softly as he gently placed her limp hand on her stomach. "I promise." Levi nodded her head towards Petra as he began to work on the knots. "Petra, let's move it a little faster," he encouraged his friend and fellow squad mate.

Petra nodded her head and leaned over towards the girl. "Sasha. It's me, Petra. We are working to free you as quick as possible."

Levi wasn't too surprised to see how Sasha didn't respond. The girl was most likely still in shock. Taking in how her pupils dilated, Levi suspected that she must have been drugged. He tugged at the ropes, but they weren't giving way. The MPs assisting Garforth in this despicable act must have had to tie her down pretty tight if she was putting up a fight. Levi pulled out his pocketknife and began to cut the rope off of Sasha. He didn't want to use the pocket knife in fear that the girl may move suddenly and he ended up cutting her. However, there was really no time for him to be slow for he was determined to get the girl out of this hellhole. Levi pulled the last bit of rope off of her.

"Petra, tell the others to get ready to go," Levi told her as he turned his attention back to the girl.

"Sasha? Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

"I will be carrying you back to the Survey Corps headquarters. Is it alright if I have you sit up so I can put a jacket on you?"

Sasha nodded her head as she sat up with Levi's help. He was surprised when she leaned into him. Brushing it off as exhaustion, Levi silently pulled his jacket onto her thin body. He turned his head slightly to the side when he saw Petra move to place a white cloth over the girl's body effectively hiding her front from view. Levi lifted the girl into his arms and walked out with Petra beside him. Levi motioned with his head for the rest of his squad to follow him as he walked through the hallways towards the entrance of the headquarters. He didn't miss the looks of shock and horror on their faces. He knew that they will have to have a debriefing to go through. He needed to make sure his team would be alright. And he would definitely make sure that Sasha would be okay.

He looked over his shoulder. "Eld, go in front of us, the rest of you behind me. If the MPs try anything funny, make sure they feel pain."

Levi felt intensely satisfied when he saw several MPs blanch when he glared at them.

 _Good. You should be afraid of me. I could kill every single one of you for what had just happened. None of you pieces of shit bothered to interfere as another human being—a woman—was forced to be put through this despicable, inhuman treatment. Her dignity was ripped to pieces…and every single one of you didn't even bothered to help her. I wonder, what did you care more about?_

Levi slightly tightened his grip around the unconscious girl. He looked down at her sleeping face and saw the telling sign of a bruise forming on her cheek. Levi's lips pulled into a tight line in suppressed anger.

The trip back to the headquarters was silent and slow. Levi forced everyone to go slowly for in fear of jostling the girl and causing her pain. Sasha didn't even move or say anything. She simply laid limply in Levi's arms, her eyes closed. When they arrived, Levi slowly got off his horse with Eld and Gunther holding the horse still. As they walked into the headquarters, Levi ordered," Eld, Gunther, and Oluo don't let her friends follow me. They will have to wait until she is ready to talk to any of them or when I say it's okay."

"Yes sir."

"What about me, sir?" Petra asked.

"Get Hange and the doctor."

"Yes sir."

As he suspected, her friends bolted from their seats and rushed over only to be intercepted by Eld, Gunther, and Oluo. Eren, who noticed the tensed look on his superior's face as he walked by carrying the cloth-covered girl in his arms, pulled the strange group of friends back to the table to wait.

Levi walked towards the infirmary and met Petra on the way with Hange and the doctor in tow. The doctor glanced at the girl covered in the white tablecloth and a severe expression formed on his face.

Levi followed the doctor into the infirmary knowing what would most likely come out of the exam.

* * *

Sasha groaned as she opened her eyes. With a start, she sat up and placed her hands on her chest. She was startled to see herself lying on a white bed without ropes restraining her movements. Sasha was afraid that when she woke up she would be still lying on the cold, hard table. To see she was relieved to see that she had been decently covered in a long white dress with loose fitting pair of pajama pants was a gross understatement.

"Ah," a familiar female voice said. "I see that you are awake."

Sasha turned her head to see Petra Ral sitting beside her bed in a chair. The pretty young woman smiled warmly at her.

"How—" Sasha started but she began to cough and was handed a glass of water.

"Captain Levi brought you to the infirmary last night. Hange and I cleaned you up and helped you change into new clothes."

"Oh." Sasha whispered with her head bowed.

Petra gently said, "Sasha…if you want to and when you want to…you can always come talk to me or Hange. I just want you to know that whatever happened to you, it was never your fault."

"Thank you," Sasha whispered. "I just can't…not now…I'm sorry."

Petra shook her head smiling gently. "Whenever you are ready, I am here to listen. I'm sure even Captain Levi, Hange, and any of the female soldiers in your squad would listen to you."

Sasha nodded her head overcome with emotion. She struggled to keep the tears at bay but stiffened when she felt gentle arms wrap around her.

"Don't hold back your tears, Sasha. If you need to cry, then cry," Petra said softly. "I am here to listen to you."

Sasha spent the next five minutes sobbing her heart out. At times, she wished that this was a horrible dream but she knew it was not a simple dream she could forget about. She had been raped. She had been restrained against her will. But all she could remember after that _man_ left her alone, was blue eyes and warmth wrapping around her, carrying her out of that hell. An angel had saved her. An angel that was a seemingly cold-hearted captain.

Captain Levi…he saved her from that hell. She smiled slightly and fell asleep.

When she realized that the auburn-haired girl had fallen asleep again, Petra gently lowered the girl back onto the pillow. Petra gently brushed the auburn locks off of the girl's face. Petra closed her eyes. Every time she closed her eyes, she couldn't stop that horrifying image from appearing. The ropes. The blood and bruises. The tears of pain. The look of horror and anger on Captain Levi's face was enough to make Petra cry again. She slowly got up and quietly left the room to find Mikasa and Krista to sit with their unconscious friend.

When she found the two girls, she approached the two girls. "I think Sasha is ready to have either Mikasa or Krista by her side. She is asleep though, but I think it will do her good to have familiar faces by her side."

"Wait-what about the rest of us?" asked Connie standing up.

Petra felt horrible about not letting Sasha's friends know but it would be better if most of them didn't know. Not until Sasha was ready herself to tell them. Petra shook her head. "She needs quiet and compassion, not questions. When she is ready to talk to anyone else besides Mikasa and Krista, I am sure she would ask for you. Until then, you will have to wait and remain calm."

"I'll go," Krista offered standing up. Petra smiled at the blonde-haired girl. Sasha would need kindness and Krista has plenty of kindness to share.

Petra showed Krista to the room the doctor had placed Sasha in, quietly telling Krista of the circumstances. Before Petra left, she saw out of the corner of her eye as Krista lightly brushed a hand over her unconscious friend's head, a single tear rolling down her face. Petra walked out to see Oluo waiting for her. Petra slowly wrapped her arms around him and Oluo quietly placed his arms around Petra's shoulders. Oluo knew he couldn't say anything that would make Petra feel any better. After all, she had been in the infirmary along with Hange with the doctor as the three checked over the unconscious girl's body as Levi waited near the door, providing security and privacy.

 _The doctor gently probed the girl's vaginal canal. Petra watched as a serious, pained look cross the doctor's face. The elderly doctor was a favorite among the Survey Corps because of his empathetic and kind nature. Petra was not use to seeing the doctor wearing such as serious face._

" _This brings such heartache to my soul," the elderly doctor murmured. "What a despicable crime."_

 _Petra nodded her head. Hange remained silent as she stood on the other side of the infirmary bed. Petra didn't need to look to see eyes filled with anger behind the glasses. Hange was as sickened by this as everyone who had seen the girl._

" _How bad is it, Doctor?" Hange asked._

 _The doctor shook his head. "It's bad enough that she will need to stay on bed rest until the scarring starts to heal. Miss Sasha will most likely not be able to walk for at most a week. She has several bruises on her inner thighs plus the bruise on her cheek where that…thing struck her."_

 _Petra nodded her head._

" _But those injuries aren't lasting. However, what is more serious, is the damage emotionally and psychologically. This young woman just had her dignity and virginity ripped away from her. Who knows the pain she must be feeling right now?"_

" _What can we do for her?" Petra asked softly._

" _Believe in her and let her know that whatever happened was not her fault. Listen to her. Let her cry. Let her vent. Give her time and space to sort things out. Provide her with security, because with her ordeal, her dignity and security was ripped away from her."_

 _Petra nodded her head._

" _Miss Petra and Section Commander Hange, I will leave it to you to bathe the girl and dress her in clothes that fully cover her legs and upper body. I would recommend having a female companion that she knows and trusts to be around her. I will leave everything else to you. I will now have a word with Captain Levi and Commander Smith. Have a good day, ladies."_

" _Doctor," Petra and Hange murmured. Both women turned around and began to prepare the girl for her bath._

Petra opened her eyes. Oluo squeezed her shoulders. "You did well to provide Miss Sasha a shoulder to cry on. She will need you and the others to be there for her to lean on to support her."

Petra nodded her head. She looked back to see a familiar dark-haired man walking out of his office. Petra slightly smiled.

 _And she will have the most reliant shoulder to lean on, I think._

* * *

 **End Note:** I hoped you guys enjoyed the second chapter.

Notes for Readers:

The best thing any person can do for a rape victim is to constantly let them know that whatever happened was not the victim's fault. The victim will constantly feel as if it was his/her fault and most victims don't tell the people closest to them because they are afraid that no one would believe them. When you do find it or if you find out right away (like I did), the best thing to do is to JUST LISTEN TO THEM and LISTEN TO THEM WHEN THEY ARE READY TO TALK TO YOU. Don't force the matter to the surface. The person needs the time and space, but most of all, they need a friend or a person who will sit there and allow them to talk, scream, break things, tear sheets, rip pillows, and sob until they lose their voice. They just need an ear who will listen.

This is a very difficult topic to talk, read, and even to write about because it really hits home for me. A lot of the feelings that Petra and Levi experienced are the feelings and emotions I felt when someone close to me had their dignity torn away from them. And dignity is never easy to regain once you lose it.

I personally had thoughts to physically harm the bastard who raped my best friend (I know I said sister, but she is practically the closest thing I ever had to a sister). I can't even begin to describe the feelings that I was feeling when I found out about it. Since I've been through this, I want to write a story to educate and as a personal venting device for me so I can bring an awareness to people on how to respond and treat rape victims, because a lot of people really don't know how because they don't think that it will ever happen to someone close to them. To be honest, I didn't think that I would run into this in my lifetime. But, it did happen. Instead of leaving her to her own devices, I made sure that I was reliable and compassionate and always ready to listen to her.

I want to thank everyone who gave this story a chance. I want to thank everyone who followed and favorited this story as well. Thank you for your support. It means so much to me. So thank you.

God bless,

Lady Serai


	3. Chapter 3

**My Saving Grace**

 **Special Thanks:** eli1116, Critic 01, Oosnow-pixieOo, and xXpurpleskiesXx for your reviews! I really appreciate it! I also want to thank all of my loyal readers for following and favoriting me and this story. I really appreciate everyone's support! You guys are amazing!

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own SnK. I am not earning a profit. This is done for people's enjoyment and because I want to.

 **Edited:** September 21, 2018

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Sasha laid on her bed, her hands folded over her stomach, gazing blankly at the ceiling. Her legs were resting on the stirrups which were holding her legs up. Sasha was grateful for the privacy the blankets covering her lower body had to offer. It had been five days since she was raped. Five days does not change anything. She felt as if she had been ripped to pieces. Pieces she may never recover again. A rustling sound of clothes being shifted alerted Sasha to Krista's quiet but sure presence in the room. Krista was sitting in a chair situated right beside her bedside.

Krista had been constantly visiting her while Sasha stayed in her room recovering from the incident. She felt a gentle, worn hand probing the inside of her thighs. She winced slightly as the hand brushed across a prominent bruise that decorated her pale skin. Dr. Simon, the elderly doctor, was sitting in a chair at her feet, checking over her injuries. Part of Sasha wanted to yank her thighs together to prevent the doctor from seeing her private part. However, the other part of her rationalized that this wasn't the first time Dr. Simon had done his routinely check-ups. In fact, he had done everything he could to insure she was comfortable.

Sasha closed her eyes. _Don't worry, Sasha,_ she reminded herself over and over again, _it will be over sooner than you know it. You can do this for a while longer._

When Sasha felt her legs being lifted off of the stirrups the good doctor had attached to her bedside, she opened her eyes to look at the doctor waiting with bated breath for his verdict. The elderly doctor gently pulled Sasha's hospital gown back over her legs and piled the blankets back on the girl before responding to her. "Everything looks good so far. Keep doing what you are doing Miss Sasha. Have a good day," the elderly doctor said patting the auburn-haired girl's hand.

Relieved, Sasha murmured her thanks as the elderly, kind doctor left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. Sasha pushed herself into a sitting position and decided to gaze out of the window. She appreciated the view of the walled city more now than ever. It relieved her to see the town bustling with activity as if it was carrying on without a thought of titans. The normalcy of it relieved her. A normalcy that she will dearly miss and wanted to return to, but that was not possible.

She was also keeping a steady gaze outside of the window to avoid those round blue-eyes that seemingly begged for Sasha to tell them everything. Sasha couldn't look at her friend for she feared what Krista might think of her. And what about Krista's training? Krista had been skipping all of her training sessions to sit with Sasha. Training was very important to their survival. Krista was severely missing out on opportunities to work on honing team and individual exercises that Captain Levi has been drilling them through. Krista didn't have to be in her room, sitting with her. Krista had better things to do than to concern herself with Sasha's problems.

Without thinking, Sasha blurted out, "You don't have to be here, you know." Sasha winced at how harsh she must have sounded.

"What on earth do you mean by that Sasha?" Krista asked startled gazing at her friend with concern.

"You have training, Krista. I would hate to be the reason why you are not training," Sasha clarified while staring straight ahead out of the window.

Krista blinked and tilted her head to the side curiously. "It's absolutely fine, Sasha. Missing a few days of training will not hurt. I just want to make sure that you will be fine. After all, am I not your friend?"

Sasha turned her head to look at Krista in the eye for the first time that day. She was surprised when she saw azure irides gazing at her own brown eyes unwaveringly. Krista was sincere about being around Sasha. Sasha weakly offered her a weak smile. "That's true. You are my friend."

Krista nodded her head. "I'm glad. So please don't be afraid to talk to me about anything Sasha. I want to be here for you."

"Thank you," Sasha whispered.

"How do you feel?" Krista asked hesitantly as if she was afraid of upsetting Sasha.

 _How do you feel?_

There were so many things that she could say to describe how she felt. She felt so sick to stomach every time her mind traveled back to the ropes, the cold, hard table, the jeers and moans of a man she didn't want, and her clothes being torn of her body. Subconsciously, she rubbed the red angry welts that had formed on her arms where the ropes had dug into her skin preventing her from struggling. Every single night when she would soak in the bath with the balm in the container on the side of the tub, she would scrub vigorously at her body until her skin was chafed from the harsh scrubbing. She was tainted. There was no water on this earth that could wash away the taint of where that man had placed himself all over her.

For the very first time in her life, Sasha despised herself. She wished she was just like Mikasa. Cold, silent, and reserved so no one could approach her. How different things might have been! Remembering that she wasn't the only person in the room, Sasha sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. She closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her legs, hugging them tightly to her body. "I feel as if I have been ripped to shreds, Krista," Sasha murmured. "I believe that I will never be made whole again. I lost everything that day. My honor, family, and dignity. No one would ever want me. I am a disgrace."

"Sasha? What do you mean?" Krista whispered timidly. "What happened was not your fault. You are not a disgrace."

"Yes, I am," Sasha said closing her eyes tightly. "I have brought dishonor to my family, Krista. My village will never look at me the same way again." Sasha covered her face with her hands and struggled to hold in the tears that threatened to fall. "No matter if it wasn't my fault, I have lost my maidenhood. I am unfit to be a wife in my village's eyes."

She began to cry. She felt arms wrap around her as she cried even harder. She felt Krista rubbing her back gently. After a few minutes, when Sasha felt like she could stop crying, she pulled away from her friend and wiped her eyes with the back of a sleeve. Krista was watching her with her large blue eyes.

"Thank you, Krista. I think I am going to get some rest," Sasha said offering a faint smile. "I feel tired and drained."

Krista smiled and nodded her head. "Have a good rest. I will come back later with dinner if you like."

Recognizing the statement as a question Sasha smiled. "That would be wonderful. Thank you very much."

Sasha laid back in her bed and drifted off to sleep. It didn't seem like a long time when she woke up to someone knocking on her door.

"Who is it?" she called tiredly.

"I have brought dinner. Can I come in?" came the distinct voice of Captain Levi.

Sasha sat straight up in her bed and stammered, "O-of course, Captain Levi." She winced and mentally slapped herself. She had nothing to fear of him. He saved her from the darkness when she was about to lose hope. She refused to slight him when he had been nothing but kind. The door opened and Captain Levi walked in holding a tray with a large plate filled with food in his hands. He nodded his head and murmured a greeting to her as he took the seat that Krista had long vacated a few hours before.

"Krista told me that you probably would like to eat dinner but since Krista had other duties to perform, I decided that I would personally take your dinner to you and see how you have been doing," Captain Levi explained while handing her the tray with a plate on it. Sasha thanked him as she gingerly took the tray from him.

She glanced over at Captain Levi who seemed to be almost lounging in his chair.

"Uh Captain?"

"Mmm?"

"Did you eat dinner yet? I would feel bad if I ate while you haven't eaten anything," she stammered embarrassed she was asking Captain Levi.

"Don't worry about it. If it makes you feel better, I already ate."

"Oh."

Levi raised an eyebrow at her and Sasha dug into her food. Sasha ate food that she hadn't been able to eat for the last few days with relish as Levi lounged in his child not minding the quiet. Sasha glanced over at Levi a few times and each time saw him with his eyes closed. Unbeknownst to Sasha, Levi was observing the young woman sitting in the bed eating her dinner. He glanced down at the cup of tea he held in his hand and took a sip of it. Through lidded eyes, he observed that the injuries the girl had on her body were slowly fading away. The wounds looked better than they did two days ago when he came in to check on the sleeping girl.

However, he knew the girl was struggling with what had happened to her. And now, on top of that, he had to tell her the news that Dr. Simon gave to him to impart to Sasha. He really didn't want to tell her about her father but he knew that the sooner the better. The sooner she can prepare herself the better off she will be.

Levi cleared his throat. "Sasha?"

"Yes, Captain?" the girl asked startled. She glanced over at her captain noticing that his eyes were lidded slowly watching her.

Levi sighed and sat up more in his chair. ""The good Dr. Simon would like me to inform you that he has contacted your father about the incident, Sasha."

Sasha stilled and for a moment she stopped breathing. She covered her eyes with her hand as she slowly lowered herself back onto the pillows that she had propped up before Levi handed her the dinner tray.

"Sasha?" Levi's worried voice came from over her. She removed her hand from her face and gazed into the ice blue eyes that belonged to humanity's strongest soldier. "What's wrong?"

"Everything," she whispered. "I will be disowned."

Confusion etched itself on Captain Levi's face. "By whom? What are you talking about?"

"By my village, by my father, by the elders," Sasha cried as she covered her face with her hands as she sat up in the bed. "I am no longer a virgin in their eyes. I would lose their support."

There was silence as the two sat there contemplating their thoughts.

"When will my father be arriving?"

"In a few days."

Sasha let out a deep breath she was holding before she squared her shoulders. "I suppose there is nothing I could do about it. I will have to face my family sooner or later."

"We could send your father away on the pretense that you are still resting after your ordeal," Levi suggested. Surprised by the offer, Sasha shook her head at him.

"I thank you for your offer, Captain Levi, but I need to discuss this with my father," she declared, formally. _No matter how difficult this will be despite I know better than to expect anything but his refusal to support me,_ she thought.

"And, I will be there to support you, Sasha," Levi said softly. "If that is what you want."

Sasha looked up at Levi, surprised. "I would really like that, Captain," she whispered wiping her tears away on her sleeve. Levi inclined his head. He nodded his head towards her tray. "Eat up. You need to get your strength back."

The room fell into silence as the two contemplated their thoughts silently.

* * *

The day her father would be arriving couldn't arrive any faster. In the days that she had been waiting, she had been able to start walking around with the help of Hange, Petra, or Krista. She had begged Hange not to let her eat with her team. Hange protested until she was round-housed kicked in the face by Levi who told Hange to let Sasha eat in her room until she feels like she wanted to be with her team.

It was Erwin who announced to Sasha while playing cards with Krista and Ymir that her father had arrived. Sasha had rushed (more like hobbled) to the room where she would be meeting her father. To her surprise, Levi was already sitting at a chair waiting for her. She stood in the center of the room, fiddling with her thumbs as she waited for her father to be escorted to their meeting place.

She glanced over at Levi who was lounging relaxed in the chair. Sasha had to admit that she felt safe with Levi beside her. Since they last spoke, he had spent her dinners in her room content enough to drink tea while she ate. The old Sasha would have tried to make conversation, but the new Sasha appreciated the calm, reassuring silence the captain had around him when he was with her. It was calming to her frazzled nerves.

"Are you sure you want me to be here, Sasha?"

Sasha nodded her head. "Yes, please."

"Fine."

The door opened with Commander Erwin and Hange walking into the room with her father trailing them closely. She locked eyes with her father who glanced away from her towards the dark-haired man sitting in a chair a few paces behind her. She didn't have to look at Levi to know that the man was eyeing her father closely.

"Mr. Braus," Commander Erwin said gravely. "I will have to take my leave but I do have two soldiers standing outside the room if you need anything."

"Thank ye," Mr. Braus said gruffly.

Sasha looked over at Hange who gave her an encouraging smile. The door closed behind the two commanding officers leaving Sasha with her father and Levi.

"Papa," Sasha offered as a greeting.

"Alexandra," Mr. Braus replied.

Sasha inwardly cringed at the name her father used. Alexandra was her real name; however, Sasha preferred people calling her Sasha. After all, she had been called Sasha for most of her life. The fact her father is using her real name was enough to tell her everything she needed to know.

Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I take it that you know about the incident?"

"Aye."

Sasha took a breath. "Will you help me out, Papa?" she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Sasha, but I can' help ye," Mr. Braus said staring at his daughter.

Sasha stared at her father in shock. "What do ye mean?" she stammered, her accent that she had hidden revealed itself. "I-I don't understand, Papa," Sasha stammered staring at her father.

"The village elders can't allow me t'take ye back. Ye belong to the man who took ye."

Sasha clenched her fists. "That... _man..._ I didn't give 'im consent. I'm better than that!" Tears of anger ran down her cheeks. Furiously, she wiped them away glaring at her own father with angry eyes.

Mr. Braus raised placating hands. "I know. I'm sorry, but I can't help ye."

"Please, Papa," Sasha begged her father falling to her knees tears falling down her cheeks as she stared at her father in desperation.

Mr. Braus shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Alexandra. This is outta my hands. Ye know how it works."

Sasha lowered her head, tears falling down her cheeks in streams. _I knew it,_ she thought. _Why did I think otherwise?_

Sasha started when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Levi standing right next to her kneeling form. Levi glanced down at the kneeling woman who was staring up at him, tears running down his face. Keeping his face devoid of all emotion, let alone the girl see how furious he was with her father. Levi turned his gaze towards her father coldly. "Are you telling me that you won't be taking responsibility for Miss Braus anymore?"

"Aye," Mr. Braus said lifting his chin up. "What does that 'ave to do wit' ye?"

"I think it has everything to do with me, considering I am your daughter's commanding officer. Therefore, I will gladly place your daughter under my protection. That means that she will stay with me from now on."

Her father sputtered, "What did ye say?"

Levi drawled. "I told you I'll take responsibility for your daughter."

"Do ye 'ave any idea what yer sayin'?" her father practically exploded.

"No, I don't but I'm certain that you'll tell me."

Sasha stared in shock at her father's red face and glanced over at Levi's back that was now facing her.

"Ye want t'marry my daughter!"

If she could, Sasha would've died right there in embarrassment. To her surprise, Levi didn't even look surprised. In fact, he didn't look one bit fazed.

"Maybe, you are not understanding what I am saying, Mr. Braus. I will be her caretaker until she finds someone worthy of her. I firmly believe that you are making a poor decision to abandon your daughter in her time of need. I find it pathetic that you are putting more weight into what your village's elders say than what your daughter says."

Sasha could see the steam spewing out of her father's ears as he pointed a furious finger at her commanding officer. "How dare ye speak t'me like that! If that's what ya wish, it's yer decision Alexandra," he snapped angrily.

Sasha looked up at Levi who had turned around waiting for her response. Slowly, she nodded her head and gazed at Levi. "Okay."

Her father threw his hands in the air. "I'm leavin' now since ye 'ave made yer choice, Alexandra," her father sighed out. Sasha and Levi watched as her father left the room and the door slammed shut behind him. The two soldiers walked in. Sasha silently watched as Levi waved them away and ordered them to report back to Commander Erwin.

As Levi spoke to the soldiers, Sasha stared at Levi. She still couldn't believe what had happened. The captain decided to protect her and place her under his care. Why does he care so much? She was startled back into reality when she felt a warm weight settling around her shoulders. She quickly realized that it was Levi's black jacket…the same jacket he covered her with when he rescued her.

She looked up and brown eyes met blue eyes. She quickly looked down at her hands that she had fisted in her lap. "Why?"

"Braus, I did it to help you. I'm not doing thing because I want something out of you. I know that you are still uncomfortable around men judging by the fact you have never asked for Connie, Jean, Eren, or Armin. I have only seen Petra, Hange, Nanaba, Mikasa, and Krista in your room. I know that you are still hurting. You don't have to trust me—"

"But, I do, Captain," she said softly. "You saved me from that…that place. I prayed for someone to help me and you came. I know it sounds silly—"

Sasha's eyes widened as her head was tucked into a muscled, compact shoulder as a strong pair of arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a warm, comforting embrace.

"It isn't silly at all," Captain Levi said softly. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

Sasha shook her head. "But, you still came Captain."

Levi closed his eyes. To say that he didn't feel guilty for not coming faster would be a lie. There hasn't been a single day that hadn't gone by that the images of Sasha's bruised form appeared in his thoughts unbidden. Levi wished he came sooner for her. He had always forced himself to remember the words he once told Eren…he had no right to regret the choices he made. Sasha's softly spoken words of how grateful she was that he still came for her touched him.

"Captain?"

"Yes?"

"If I am going to be staying with you, you should call me Sasha."

Levi smiled and chuckled. "Only if you call me Levi."

Sasha smiled as she tucked herself back into Levi's arms. The only place she felt safe.

* * *

 **End Note:** This has been edited many months later. I'm so sorry. I'm actually now working on Chapter 4 currently. At this point. If you have read this story, but you are rereading it again please know I haven't forgotten about my stories. I have been busy but I have been working on it.

Thank you for all of the favorites, follows, and reviews. It has made it worthwhile to see people still interested in this story.

If you are new, thank you for giving this story a chance and have faith in me that I will finish this story unless (God forbid) something happens to me.

Please don't forget to review, follow, and/or favorite _My Saving Grace._

Please don't forget to check out my other stories.

Lastly, don't forget to check out my profile page. I put up recent updates.

God bless.

~Lady Serai


	4. Chapter 4

**My Saving Grace**

 **A/N:** Hello faithful readers. Yes, this is an update after such a long time without updating. But since Season 3 came out, I have finally got my muse running. And I'm pretending that Chapter 105 didn't happen, because my heart still can't handle it.

 **Story Takes Place:** I'm not sure if I made this clear, so I'm going to clear this up now. This story takes place right after most of the top ten cadets in the 104 Cadet Corps joins the Survey Corps (except for Marco and Annie) which includes Armin and Ymir. Following canon, Reiner and Bertholdt join the Survey Corps and Annie joins the MP. Regarding Eren, everyone knows he's a titan shifter and is also in the custody of Levi/Survey Corps. This story also takes place before Squad Levi is taken out by the Female Titan, so Squad Levi is still alive.

 **Special Thanks:** Critic 01, httpsanime, pureunicorntears, Dianzu, and xXpurpleskiesXx for your lovely reviews! I hope I don't disappoint!

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own SnK!

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

 _Finally! I'm going to be free and able to train again,_ Sasha thought excitedly as she laid on her back with her feet in the stirrups for the fifth time these past two weeks she had been recuperating from her ordeal.

Since Captain Levi had placed her in his care five days ago, Sasha had never felt so relaxed in her whole entire life. It was all thanks to Levi's calming presence, not to mention Krista, Hange, and Petra who constantly kept her company. But the person who had a more lasting impact on her was Levi. She owed her recovery to him. Ever since she had been taken into his custody, Levi sat up with her whenever she couldn't sleep because of nightmares. Sometimes he kept her occupied with card games or whenever she wanted to talk, he patiently listened to her.

Sasha came to the stark realization that she depended on his presence. Sasha never had an extreme dependency (except for food) on someone. Perhaps, it was because he's her savior and he stood up for her in front of her father. Sasha glanced over at the silent man who sat in a chair right next to her bedside who had her outstretched hand in his. Sasha watched Levi as he watched Dr. Simon perform his exam with his sharp, blue eyes. As if he felt her eyes on him, he turned his gaze towards her. Embarrassed at getting caught staring, she averted her gaze from his searching eyes back to the ceiling.

She slightly squirmed as Dr. Simon probed her vaginal canal with gentle, seeking fingers. She had gotten over her extreme fear of the doctor checking her, but it still made her slightly nervous. To get her mind off of her rising nerves, Sasha turned her thoughts towards her friends and training. It would be good for her to get back into training. These past two weeks of being at the hospital had turned her into a limp potato. And not only she was out of shape, Sasha was downright bored. There wasn't a whole lot to do at the hospital besides walking, sitting in bed, sitting outside, sleeping, eating, and spending time talking or playing card games with her visitors which typically ranged from Hange, Levi, Petra, Krista, Ymir, to Mikasa and Nanaba.

 _I wanna leave,_ Sasha whined inwardly. She squirmed again only to slightly wince when the hand in Levi's was squeezed.

"Stop moving around Sasha."

"Sorry," she whispered, glancing shyly at Dr. Simon. She figured it had to be difficult for the good doctor to assess her if she is moving around so often.

Dr. Simon laughed. "It's quite alright, my dear. I don't blame you for being so antsy. It's a pain to be cooped up in here all day for the past two weeks, eh?"

Sasha nodded her head with a small sheepish smile on her face oblivious to the slight curve of Levi's lips as he watched his charge with observant, hooded eyes.

 _Braus seems to be doing better ever since I yanked the stick out of her old man's ass._

Sasha sat up once Dr. Simon pulled back down her skirts and released her legs from the stirrups. "I'm all good to go?" she asked eagerly shifting her legs over to the side of the exam bed.

"Yes ma'am. If anything comes up dear don't be afraid to come back over. Do you have the post-discharge instructions my wife gave you before she escorted you here?"

"I have it here Dr. Simon," Levi answered holding up a slip of paper that he slightly waved in the air.

"Good. Make sure you follow it exactly and remember to come back for a check-up in two weeks." **(1)**

Sasha nodded her head. "Thank you," she said with a small smile.

"You are most certainly welcome, my dear. Have a good rest of your day, Miss Sasha. You too, Captain Levi."

Levi nodded his head at the retreating doctor's back as Dr. Simon closed the door behind him leaving the two behind. Levi stood up from the chair that he had settled in beside the exam bed.

Although this was his second time attending one of the Sasha's check-ups, he was uncomfortable. The first time he had attended one of her check-ups, Petra was in the room with her. And it wasn't because he was uncomfortable with the fact that Sasha's skirts were going up her body. He had attended other check-ups for his squad and Hange whenever they would injure themselves either during missions (which typically involved getting more subjects for Hange's fucking-insane experiments) or training accidents, so he was quite familiar with the anatomy of both sexes. What made him uncomfortable, was the fact that he was a man; a member of the gender that still gave his charge nightmares despite her progress in accepting the presence of Eld, Gunther, and Oluo. That's why he was so surprised when Sasha asked him to accompany her to her final check-up before discharge. When he asked her if she wanted him to get Petra or any other frequent female visitors, she had smiled and informed him it was okay for him to come with her.

When they entered the exam room and Sasha slipped off her boots, he offered to hold her hand since he saw Petra holding her hand during the examination and thought it might provide her some comfort. He had thought she would refuse, but the girl surprised him again when Sasha whispered her consent. Sasha was full of surprises.

"Captain?"

Levi shook himself out of his thoughts to see that said charge was watching him with curious brown-golden eyes. Quickly assessing that she had her boots and shawl draped over her shoulders, Levi pushed his hands into his pant pockets.

"Are you ready to go home?" he asked heading towards the exam room door.

"Yes!" Sasha exclaimed hurrying after the dark-haired captain.

The two walked through the halls until they passed the front desk. Sasha waved at Dr. Simon's wife who was the only staff member sitting at the front desk. Mrs. Simon waved at the pair with a smile on her face.

Sasha felt relieved when they left the hospital. Although, she was eternally grateful to the elderly couple's kindness and care towards her, she was happy now that she was no longer confined within the hospital doors. She had never liked the indoors. Following after Levi, who had stopped to allow her to fall in step with him, Sasha had no idea where she was going. All that she knew was that she was heading to Levi's apartment. Petra had informed the shocked girl a week ago, that Levi had turned in some forms to not only have her in his custody but also live with him. Petra had reassured her that Levi will discuss with her more details about the forms' contents.

Levi glanced over at the slightly taller girl who walked beside him. Judging by the glazed look in her eyes, the girl was thinking really hard about something. Realizing she was about to walk right into a couple, Levi gently took her arm and tugged her closer to him, shaking Sasha out of her reverie.

Relieved that she had missed an embarrassing collision for both parties, Sasha decided to wait to ask Levi questions about the forms and the actions he took until they were in Levi's apartment. Once they arrived in front of Levi's apartment door, Sasha watched as Levi unlocked the door and swung it open. Hesitantly, she followed after her commanding officer who closed the door behind her. Sasha's mouth slightly dropped open. It was much bigger than she had thought it would be for one person. Levi stood off to the side, hooded eyes watching Sasha's reaction. It didn't take too long for him to convince Eyebrows to give him the forms for a shared apartment as well as placing Sasha into his custody and care. Expediting the approval process was a different story. Levi was about to get really impatient when he finally received word of approval from Erwin. Levi had his squad, Mikasa (who was very unwilling to leave Eren by himself until Krista pointed out that she shares a room with Sasha), and Reiner help him move all of Sasha's and his belongings into the new apartment which included several hours of cleaning all in time for Sasha's discharge. If he had it his way, it would have been finished earlier but either way it got done.

"It's so big," Sasha gushed as she turned in a circle, her mouth slightly open in awe. Sasha looked over at Levi with a stunned look. "Is this really your apartment, Captain?"

"Considering I have the only key to get in, it's implied this apartment belongs to me," Levi responded, dryly.

Sasha nodded her head and proceeded to walk around taking in the kitchen and the living room.

Keeping his face expressionless, Levi watched as Sasha appraised his apartment with awestruck wonder. Levi had to admit that he had never met anyone who was this dumbfounded to be in an apartment, but he figured after years of living in a hunting village and the barracks, spacious isn't what most soldiers are used to; unless the soldier was a seated officer.

Wanting to have a discussion with her, he walked over to the kitchen table and cleared his throat. "Sasha, come over here and sit with me."

The auburn-haired teenager turned around and pouted. "Aw, I wanted to look around some more, Captain."

Levi sat down and gestured for her to join him. "Yes. I can see that. Let's talk first and then I will show you around the apartment."

He watched the girl for a moment as she stood there for a second but seemed to have made up her mind and joined him at the kitchen table. Sasha looked nervously at her commanding officer. "What did you want to talk to me about, sir?"

"I wanted to talk to you about your feelings about returning to your training with your teammates."

Sasha swallowed. "I need to get back into training, so I would like to return to training with my team."

"Are you telling me something you think I want to hear, Braus?"

Nervously, she licked her dry lips. "I am not sure what you mean by that sir."

"Hm, clearly. Most superior officers want to hear the response that they _wish_ to hear because that's what they consider to be discipline from their subordinates. _I'm_ different. I don't want you to respond to me with answers you think I want to hear. I prefer my subordinates speaking their minds and telling me what they feel. You aren't speaking your mind, Sasha. You are telling me something you think will please me. It doesn't please me."

Sasha winced. To take the sting out of his statement, Levi continued softly. "I want you to tell me the truth because your opinions and feelings do matter to me." He gave her a smile. "When I first gathered my squad, they did the same thing you did thinking that would please me. It didn't of course. I told them the same thing I'm telling you right now."

Sasha nodded her head still slightly bowed.

"Let's try that again. Sasha, how do you feel about returning to your team?"

Sasha took a deep breath. "Terrified, sir," she admitted, shame filling her. She drew herself up to look her superior in the eye. "I know that they mean well, but I can't help but feel frightened of them."

"By them, you're referring to Yeager, Arlet, Springer, and Kirchstein?"

He hit the nail on the head. Sasha nodded her head. "Yes." She looked up sharply. "I know they won't hurt me, but I don't want to go back to them too soon because I'm still uncomfortable around men. I'm okay with Eld, Gunther, and Oluo because Petra and Hange told me that they came too to help you rescue me and I really appreciate that. But, I wouldn't say that I'm completely comfortable with their presence. Luckily, the three of them always brought Nanaba, Hange, or Petra with them out of consideration of me. But, the others…." Sasha trailed off looking off.

Levi could guess what Sasha was going to say, but he didn't want to put it out there considering that Sasha was finally talking about her real feelings and he didn't want her to be aware of it and shut down on him. It was also a strategic tactic as well. Most people, when faced with silence, would talk just to fill it in. Levi figured if he stayed quiet enough, she will tell him what he needed to hear.

"But the others don't know what I went through," Sasha continued. "I'm afraid they will ask me questions that I just can't answer yet. And…being in a room alone with them…scares me to death."

Levi nodded his head. "If I'm hearing this correctly, you want to return to training but you don't want to return to your team because you don't want to answer questions and they scare you."

"Just the guys. Ymir, Krista, and Mikasa are fine," Sasha clarified.

"Only the guys scare you," Levi repeated. "Well, I have been working out a solution to this problem."

Sasha perked up. "Petra told me you were working on something but she didn't tell me. She told me to wait until you talk to me about it."

"Is that so?" Levi asked her, placing a hand on the table as he leaned back in the chair to take in the girl sitting across from him. "Luckily for you, I'm talking to you about it right now."

"Oh!" Sasha stared at him expectantly.

Blue eyes eyed her expectant gaze. _I wonder how she is going to take this._ "To start off, I moved out of my old apartment into here only yesterday."

Sasha stared at him dumbfounded. "Why did you do that? Isn't this too much for only one person?"

 _She still hasn't figured this out._ If Levi could sigh, he would have sighed right then and there. "I'm not sure if you remember, but I did tell your father that I'm placing you under my care until you no longer need me. That means you are living with me." He waved a hand around him towards the space surrounding them. "This is apartment is also yours."

Sasha's jaw dropped open. She didn't think Captain Levi would go this far for her. She closed her mouth with some effort and managed. "You didn't have to."

Levi slightly shrugged. "Well, I did. I'm going to get the key copied so you can have a key as well."

"Is that the only thing you done?" Sasha asked wincing at the accusation in her voice.

"No. I want to know what you think about joining my squad."

Sasha's jaw dropped for the second time. "Uh, uh, sir…um," she stuttered.

Levi held up a hand. "Stop. Take a breath. Then talk."

Sasha closed her mouth and took a deep breath in order to gather her jumbled thoughts. She looked up to see clear blue eyes on her. "I…I wouldn't…mind at all. But…why?"

"You told me that you are okay with my squad minus Yeager but leave Yeager to me. I'll take care of him."

Sasha had to grin. The only person who scared the ever-living shit out of Eren was Captain Levi and everyone knew it.

"But—"

"We won't push your training for a couple of weeks until Dr. Simon says it's fine." He pulled out a slip of paper with Sasha's post-discharge treatment instructions written in a neat cursive. "We still have to follow the doctor's orders. I won't push you too hard but I won't let you slack off," he pinned Sasha with a look.

Sasha couldn't help but feel relieved at his words. But something else was bothering her. "What about my team?"

"Leave your team to me."

Levi looked up over at the grandfather clock in the living room. _Shit, I have a meeting with Eyebrows in about thirty minutes._

"Okay."

Confused, Levi stared at Sasha. Correctly guessing his confusion, she clarified. "I'm okay with being on your squad, sir."

"Ah, good." Levi stood up. "Well, since this discussion took a little bit longer than I thought it would take, the apartment tour will have to wait until later."

"What?" Sasha gasped sounding aghast. "I really wanted a tour!"

"You can complain to Eyebrows about it in a meeting I have to get to in thirty minutes. Let's go, Sasha," Levi responded wryly as he picked up his uniform jacket and waited until he was sure the indignant girl was following him before leaving the apartment with his new charge.

* * *

 **End Note:** This chapter is a little shorter than the others because I wanted to just focus on Sasha and Levi and their relationship for this chapter. Next chapter will have other characters in it.

 **(1):** Sasha suffers from vaginal lacerations which will take a few weeks to heal; it ultimately depends on the severity of the lacerations.

Please don't forget to review, follow, and favorite _My Saving Grace._

Please don't forget to support my others stories and me!

~Lady Serai


	5. Announcement

**Dear Friends and Fans:**

This gives me no pleasure but I'm leaving and will eventually delete my stories once I get my other sites set up.

There are a few reasons why I'm leaving fanfiction.

 **Reason 1**

Critics United members have been abusing their role to report stories that break the rules; however, there comes a point when you cross the line and they have done it repeatedly.

And no one has done a thing to stop their abuse on this site. I have friends on here who are being abused and I'm not okay with it.

 **Reason 2**

Die-hard fans of Fairy Tail have been threatening to kill me. I'm drawing the line there. If you can't be mature, you don't deserve to read my stories.

 **Reason 3**

The JavaScript bug pissed me off. I don't feel safe on this site.

Welp. You got my reasons why I'm leaving and I suggest you guys do the same thing especially if you feel like you are coming under attack.

The only reason I'm going to be on Fanfiction is to read, review, follow, favorite, and beta-read. No more updating and no more publishing stories.

Hopefully, my small group of fans and friends will come and find me on Tumblr and AO3.

I set up Tumblr. You guys can find me at **lady-serai.**

Find me on AO3 at **lady_serai**. I haven't posted any of my stories yet, but I should be able to start on Monday!

~Lady Serai


	6. Announcement 2

Hello, everyone! Here to officially announce that I have uploaded the story onto my Ao3 and Tumblr accounts so go ahead and check me out. Don't know my Tumblr or Ao3 account? Well, that's not a problem go ahead and look at my profile for information.

Since, someone had questioned my decision to leave FF and join Ao3 and Tumblr (while, of course, reminding me that there are trolls everywhere) let me make something very clear to you:

1\. If you are going to question my decisions, but send a review as a guest you are a coward. I would have loved to get to know you personally and have a discussion with you in private. However, you lost that opportunity. So, I decided to do it here.

For those who don't know what said guest sent to me in a review:

 _So that's it? You're going to let these people push you off this site? You're not going to try and fight this? You do realize that these people aren't limited to this site, don't you? They've been popping up everywhere lately. What happens when they join AO3? It will happen if it hasn't already, mark my words. Tumblr is already a lost cause. You can't get away from these people just by moving to a new website. You don't escape bullies by simply running away. You get rid of them by standing up to them._

Here is my response to you:

While you do have excellent points about trolls being on other sites and that you should stand up to bullies, you aren't telling me anything new.

Fanfiction admin has done absolutely nothing for me. Unlike AO3, I can't put up a claim and hope someone will get back to me.

I also don't like ppl questioning my decision. I'm an adult who has boundaries. And people on this site have crossed them repeatedly. If you can't leave a person alone after they asked you to stop and decided that death threats is a better way to do things, then I think it's time to move onto a site that I know is secure and has rules and has ways to PROTECT their users then that's a site I want to be with.

I haven't decided if I'm going to delete my stories on this site. I just won't be publishing or updating because that's MY choice.

As for standing up for myself and for my fellow authors, I have been. Long before I became an author in 2016. I have been on this site, encouraging, praising, reviewing, standing up, following, and favoriting writers and their stories since 2010. But, now I'm getting older and I'm fighting more difficult battles than dealing with immature brats. Instead of telling my haters to back off in a PM and continue on a site that doesn't make me feel safe or secure, I'll go elsewhere and you can find me but I'll be ready with a chapter or another story. I'll keep writing because that's how I stand up to my haters. And I have already found people on both Tumblr and AO3 that I do enjoy writing for.

Believe it.

I'm happy with my decision.


End file.
